holy shit

my brother is getting married!
hats of my boy for being the first in the family, and to the guy who i said would never get married, we were kids.

i'm happy,

i could only wish.

what the fuck. love it when you don't talk to me.

funny cat.

i want to be skinny so bad i want to go back to my normal size. i want to fit into ALL the clothes that i own. you see i wasn't like this. i'm sick of being over weight. and that's my problem. i try and work out but i fail. i don't know what to do.
i just want to look in the mirror and be happy with what i see. i'm just a work in progress. and it makes me sick.

 (EDIT: yeah fuck that shit. i work it out bitches. you just fuckin wait.)

i get it

yes, i know i have an obsession. i cant control it. yet.

ha

i want to kill men. why do they say one thing and then wait to the last minute to actually tell you that plans will not happen. real cool. really cool. oh well he can suck it. next weekend my ass. well maybe its good that he didn't come over because my apartment looks like shit. and i would be fully embarrassed. and truthfully i don't think i will like him. maybe because i am too quick to think of who people are before getting to know them or that i mistake them for someone else and then i'm fucked because then what do you do?

fuck this truck i'm out.

wtf

fuck fuck fuck fuck what do i do. i want to go out but i want to go with someone. and lask;dfjalgkhja;ldfskjds;lgj;ldknbv;akldfsngv bitch ass fuckers.

let me see

i'm sitting here thinking about how i can see the body within me. not the one that everyone else sees but the one i see inside of me. i just have to remember that one day those images will be the same that i won't have two different images.